I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
