I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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