i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
