hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
