considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
