Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
