so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
