goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
