Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
