I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
