hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
