i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
