So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's never too late to be topless.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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