Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize