i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
