i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
