it was like eating out sand paper
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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