My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
