google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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