Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
