you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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