there's paper in my vomit.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
