im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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