At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
