He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
