i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
