i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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