Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
