That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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