Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
