Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
