My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
sex in a hospital.. check
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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