Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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