Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
