Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
