So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
