i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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