Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
