I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
