so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
