i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
