I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
