sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
