Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
