Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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