Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I did not marry a roomba.
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