You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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