i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
