I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
