so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
