omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
